wonderment

Although it’s getting late, I’d better blog this first.

It seems that a lot of things have happened in the last few weeks but I haven’t had time to reflect and write what I thought about them. Then, if I did have a pocket of time, I didn’t feel like writing or thinking, instead, choosing to fritter away my time on mindless stuff.

Is it just me, or are so many things happening just like that? It’s as if when I turn every corner, I meet some kind of situation that forces me to think about The Greater Scheme Of Things.

First, I’m getting crap from my boss at work ever since I hastily made an official announcement during our team devotion about my leaving before handing in my letter (I would never have done this, but why this time is a long story for another time.). Since then, everything’s gone downhill at work. I’ve never come to a point where I dread going to work in the morning and yet I am now! I want to write my own 39-page thesis about everything wrong with the world, but I can literally feel a restraining hand on my fuming pride, telling me to go slow. Inside’s a struggle to stand up for my ego, whilst the other side of me knows that this is a test I have to go through. My strongest weaknesses (what an oxymoron!) have risen to the surface and I can’t sweep them back into the cupboard any more.

Secondly. I have never experienced such a time of humbling during YA/church until these few weeks. I prayed for my friends on and off but I don’t think I really expected God to answer my prayers in the way that I prayed so I forgot to pray after a while. It scares and delights me at the same time that months later, He remembers what I prayed so long ago and answers them! Each YA meeting/church worship session has been so extraordinary. There were the tears, and the laughter and the sudden spark of comraderie … and this is more than skin deep. It’s something I used to experience in Campus Crusade but after I left, I’ve never seen such a strong work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of my peers. And who am I that I should gain the opportunity to experience God’s goodness in the lives of my friends?

However, the reality that I can no longer be stagnant is sinking in. If anything, I need to be heading in the right direction myself before I can get my friends to follow me.

There should be a thirdly but I’ll just summarise everything and go to sleep.

In between the stress of work, and the open-mouth awe of His miracles, are the little things that sometimes make or break your day. I’ve been having a double dosage of both.

Sometimes, the devil wants to overwhelm you so you don’t know where to start praying. However, our task is to keep at Him no matter how insignificant our work may seem. Even if we have to just pray for one thing at a time, it still works because God listens anyway. We don’t have to go into long meandering prayers that hardly mean a thing. He doesn’t like it too.

Pray for me won’t you, as you read this post?

Pray for strength, and also the wisdom and the grace to go through what I have to go through.

And also, for the joy of just living for Him.