wonderment

When I woke up this morning, I felt so hungover because I didn’t sleep well again last night and when you’re tired, you’re at your weakest point where all sorts of emotions just get to you.

Fatigue had taken a huge check out of the euphoria from yesterday and worry began to cloud my vision. I wanted something to hold onto. I needed to know that God loved me inspite of everything. My dad hadn’t returned from fetching my mom to work so I sat down with my Bible and read a passage of Scripture.

Ps 31: 9, 14, 24
Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.

But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, “You are my God.”

Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.

I felt a little bit stronger after breakfast. I sat down to review the number of people who signed up. We have 17 people (9 couples), but one couple is Monica + husband, and another couple don’t know if they can make it because the husband’s got chicken pox. But I’m still counting his wife in anyway.

I asked the Lord to make it 20 people. Just 20 people. I know He can do it.

These things don’t happen often. And usually, they happen for a reason. While I was still praying, the phone rang and a lady that spoke to me some weeks ago called to register herself and her husband for the seminar.

My tongue got all tied in knots because I knew that God had chosen to show Himself in this real way to me.

God is just so good.

I’ve spoken about trust/faith on air but I’ve never gone through such a time of moulding and testing as such a time as this.

——————-
Another testing of my patience:

An unfamiliar number appeared on my phone yesterday. I picked it up and a sleepy, throaty voice went hello. It sounded like it was some lady who had just woken up and called the wrong number.

But when “he/she” called my name, I knew exactly who the caller was. He refused to be known as Brother Chen but as “Chris” - his sister. Ok, so “Chris” it shall be. His ‘guise’ fell through in an instant when he started talking about a girlfriend … For nearly half an hour, he talked about his problems with work, family and supposed girlfriend. We’ve had this particular conversation more than once and I always tell him to go find his neighbourhood CDC, but he still calls.

Monica told me to be firm with him the next time and spend not more than 10 minutes on the phone with him. But I don’t think I’ll ever pick up the phone next time. :s

How can there be such tormented people in the world? I wonder if they can ever take the hand that helps them and be changed instead of constantly falling back in their old miserable ways.