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77 programs.
21 days.
1 Marriage enrichment seminar-cum-concert.
47 couples to go.

Lord, grant me strength.

Feeling steam-rolled

In previous accounts of house-packing, I forgot to add that it hardly made a dent in the greater scheme of things because I was the only one doing anything. Most of my stuff were packed and labelled a long time ago and I tried to start on the rest of the house while they just boo-booed me saying, “We’ve got a lot of time, lah.”

Last night, we waved goodbye to the last neighbour in our block. Needless to say, they began saying all the stuff I said months ago.

“No time already, very soon they’ll demolish the whole block and we’re still here!”
“How to pack 17 years worth of stuff in so short a time??”
“Better call Iris and tell her to hurry up with the designs!”

And so, The Great House Clean Up began today. My dad just sat around pushing the same file from one location to another. My mom started cleaning out drawers that haven’t been opened in years. My sis mulched around our room not knowing what to throw away, so I went through everything with her throwing out stuff she didn’t have to keep. (In the end, we had like 4-5 bags full of useless stuff she could have dumped a long time ago)

After 2 hours of really constructive clearing up, we had like 10 over bags, nearly half of which were to go to the Salvation Army. Of course, with a father still nursing a broken arm and a mom dropping hints about her breaking her back as well … guess who had to bring everything downstairs??

I’d never done so much exercise in my life. The trips lugging all those bags and piles of old newspaper downstairs and sprinting all the way back up for the next lot made me feel like Xena. By the time my sis and I were done, perspiration was pouring off our foreheads. I just thank God that I have the option to use the lift at my new house.

……

We just came back from seeing my grand dad and visiting our new house.

Because our new place is so conveniently located next to a busy shopping mall, we ended up at Harvey Norman and bought a TV, fridge and a LCD screen to replace my boxy old monitor and nearly … very nearly … a massage chair, washing machine and dryer. We spent 2 hours at HN watching my parents negotiate with each other about the above mentioned 3 items. In the end, we slunked off mumbling promises of “We’ll get back to you…” to the Osim salesman who had been earnestly promoting his stuff for the past 15 minutes.
……..

My dad’s broken arm was very much a blessing in disguise. I guess if my dad hadn’t broken his arm, we wouldn’t realise how much we depended on him to fetch us to work/school in the mornings. We wouldn’t have had the opportunity of learning interdependence as well …

It’s been really fun and the family’s grown closer as a result. My father’s had to sit back and allow us to do things for him like feed him ice cream that had was frozen too hard for his left hand to manage. In the past, I would have asked my dad to help fix up the monitor for me but this time, I got to do it myself. And of course, my sister is finally pulling her weight in this whole move.

For we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, those called according to His purposes.

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“But you are my witnesses, O Israel!” says the LORD. “And you are my servant. You have been chosen to know me, believe in me, and understand that I alone am God. There is no other God, there never has been and never will be. I am the LORD, and there is no other Savior. First I predicted your deliverance; I declared what I would do, and then I did it – I saved you. No foreign god has ever done this before. You are witnesses that I am the only God.” says the LORD. “From eternity to eternity I am God. No one can oppose what I do.

No one can reverse my actions ..” (Isaiah 43:10-13)

I chanced upon this verse quite accidentally. I mean, I was using the age old flip-open-and-point-to-any-verse method to find a verse for the wedding card I was writing. I didn’t want to use the usual wedding verses, the Bible is really that big, there ought to be other verses that speak about marriage.

So I flipped open my Bible and there it was. This verse. To me, when I first read it, I wasn’t thinking of marriage. The strength of the words just threw me. This is God talking t0 us and telling us that there ain’t going to be anybody else who would do what He did for us. I would imagine this would come from a very exasperated parent whose child still doesn’t trust him at all.

This is a firm reminder both for me and for us all … whether we believe in God or not.

You can stick to your stubborn slanted view of God, you can choose to struggle and wrangle your own way. You can say whatever you want, believe what you want or even walk away. But get this straight: He’s telling you, and He’s telling you in the Old Testament that He’s already got everything done out properly and NOBODY is going to change His mind.

He’s willing to forever cancel your eternal debt (that you’re still chalking up right now), He’s willing to call you “Child” even though we hardly deserve it more than the next person, He’s willing to give you everything He owns, most of all, Himself. Imagine, you can know the God of the universe as your loving Heavenly Father.

No matter who you say you are or believe you are, no matter what your mother/father/sibling/friend/aunty/uncle/teacher/boyfriend/girlfriend/complete stranger says you are …No matter what …

YOU ARE ALREADY SAVED IN HIS EYES.
(and you better make sure you’re on His side coz when the crunch time comes, nobody else is going to save you. Nobody.)

P.S: I did write those 3 verses in the card. They’re a really special couple … I do believe he’s waited all his life just to marry her and so I pray that this verse would encourage them both.

I just came back from church. Beautiful wedding with lots of good-hearted ribbing. Awww …. *love sigh*

K.O

Brother Chen has taken to calling the 6100 line at around midnight. He never calls in the day time anymore. I missed a few but last night, when I was nearly falling asleep, an energetic Canon in D pierced through my sleepiness. I pressed the “Silent” button and shut the clamshell. No matter how much I want to help him, this is getting too freaky.

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The physical fatigue from the retreat is catching up with me. Joyce!!! I want my massage voucher!!!

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We’ve got a one-armed Dad at home now. His arm is much better. Thank you all for your care and concern! It now hangs limply by his side while he does everything with his left hand. The follow up appointment is on the 1st.

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I wish I knew how to drive. Then I wouldn’t have to endure blur cabbies and freezing wet feet. Grr.

I’m backkkk

Photos will be up when I get them from Huilin… the lucky girl jetsetted off this morning for another week of holiday!

I got 6 missed calls while I was still at camp and when I called home 2 hours later, I heard from my mom that my dad sprained his arm.

“No, it’s not serious…”
“Long story, tell you when you get home…”
“Oh, remember to buy dinner and the newspaper when you get back…”

I called my sis again and found out that he had fallen while playing Ultimate Frisbee (what??!!) and now was resting in bed. When he fell while trying to catch the frisbee, he actually passed out for a few moments but was ok after a while. His friends put a cold compress on the shoulder, but the pain got the better of him, so he and my sis left. He drove himself home. Phwoar.

When I reached home, I’d never seen my dad looking so pale and feeble for a while now. He was running a fever and couldn’t even manage a “hi” when I popped my head into his room.

He didn’t come down for dinner but while we were eating, my sis went up to check on him and then came back to tell us … He wants to go to the hospital.

*alarm bells start ringing furiously*

My dad hates hospitals. Unless he’s in serious trouble, he’d rather self-medicate.

WOAH… we packed up in a hurry, called a taxi and rushed down to the hospital.

They got the usual x-rays done. We waited around for a while until finally they called us in and gave us the diagnosis.

Dislocation and a crack in the bone. The 2 parts of the bone beside the crack actually had like “caved” inwards.

*chills up my spine*

He nearly had to be warded for surgery but the surgeon said that it wasn’t necessary for now. Thank God for that! However, no driving and tons of rest for his bad, broken arm.

(I got a earful for not knowing how to drive even after taking my BT for 2 years now. Tsk.)

Anyway, thank God that he’s okay (I heard he narrowly missed a tree) and that the crack isn’t so bad.

I hope this puts any idea of roller-blading out of his mind.

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Strange things happening to sway my concentration, perhaps? The retreat was fantastic. Fellowship was good but the thing that struck me most was that for the first time in my life, I felt that a church leader was coming down to the field and connecting with his congregation. Canon Kuan may look like one very ordinary man, but I’m excited to see the kind of missionary vision that he’s going to carry out for the Cathedral. Of course, the teaching we received seriously helped us to chart our direction for YA. It’s something that we’ve been trying to find since our inception, but perhaps with this call to serve God, we’d get going now!

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I spoke with a friend who comes into contact with people like Brother Chen daily. I take my hat off people who work in IMH, counsellors and welfare organisations. It’s a very emotionally draining job that not many people are inclined to do for the long run.

Brother Chen called again in the morning today. He actually called yesterday at 530 for Pastor Tan after I left the office. After hitting a dead wall with me on finding a job for him, he hoped my friend could help him.

As they talked, Pastor Tan gently asked general questions to find out more about his background but when the topic turned to the emotional issues that he was facing and why he wasn’t taking his prescribed medication, he suddenly hung up again.

I wonder what it is like to experience such pain that leads to clinical depression. It seems that nowadays it’s fashionable to be depressed. My mouth dropped open as I watched the shorts of one live talk show on Channel U. There were teens declaring their self-mutilation and rejection like badges of honour to be proud of!

Suddenly, pain is the new drug. Not sex.

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Will be going for a 3 day 2 night retreat with my YA group. Be back on Monday afternoon with pictures and renewed purpose! See you soon.

Things that go bump in the night

edit @ 1.09pm

“Brother Chen” called again at about 11ish. My colleague was all ready, so when I answered the phone, I didn’t even let him say hello. Like a bulldozer, I charged straight to what I wanted to do: get off the phone as quickly as possible. I told him I had a colleague, Pastor Chen, who could help him with whatever question he had and that Ps Chen was a really nice guy. Before he could get a word in, I shoved my cell to my friend.

He hung up.

At this point, Pastor Chen admonished me. He told me I should have sought his verbal permission before actually passing the phone over and usually these people just needed a listening ear. I promised to get his permission first before passing the phone to Pastor Chen.

He called again, less than 5 minutes later. This time, I tried to listen first before speaking. Again, he asked me to pray for him. He said he didn’t know how to pray. I said my Mandarin was really bad.

But he kept asking, and then something tripped.

“Doesn’t God care for the oppressed?” reminded a voice somewhere in my head.

If a friend called me to pray for him/her, I would have immediately, but was I going to deny someone whom God had brought my way?

Oh well, it’s just a prayer. This guy ain’t going to let me off until I pray for him.

I flipped open my Chinese/English Bible for some words that I could use and it fell open to the chapter on God is love.

As I prayed, something got my tongue. I found myself going faster, even fluent, as the words tumbled out, “God loves you… God wants to heal you … Turn over your hurts to God…” He began to agree and it sounded like he had difficulty breathing or something.

Suddenly, in the background, I distinctly heard someone screaming, as if in a quarrel.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

He called so that the sound of someone speaking to him kindly will drown out the sound of destruction and pain.

Just like I plug into my discman and its happy music to escape from silence or arguing, this person is doing the same too.

After I was done, the quarrelling stopped. And then there was nothing left to say. We both remained silent and then I said, “Do you want to speak to Pastor Chen?” He was okay with it so I passed him over.

He hung up again.

I don’t know if he has any other motives for calling, but in a split moment, I identified with this brother. I adopted a superior attitude over someone who seemed to be weaker than I was, and I think I was meant to learn a lesson today.

A lesson on humility.

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In this case, it’s my handphone.

The company is organising a wedding seminar on June 18th and listeners can call in to find out more details or to register. In the advertisement we put out, there’s a 6100 number to call and because its a floating line, all calls get diverted to my handphone for me to handle any queries.

So on Monday night, I received 2 missed calls during YA and when I tried to call back, the line was busy. I didn’t think much of it because if the caller really needed to get me, they would call back soon.

The next day, the phone rang at about 11am and I picked up. A slow, breathy, male voice dreamily came on asking where this place was. In my hyper-telephone voice, I answered “This is Voice of Grace!” Then he asked if I could speak Mandarin, and on switching over, he began asking me all sorts of weird questions like who I was, my name, where I was working, how old I was, if I had a direct line, my exact office location ….

By this time my hair was standing on end already. The studio suddenly seemed to get colder. After furnishing him with some very vague details, he went on to ask me to pray for him because he was getting affected by family issues and he was out of a job and he needed a job, etc, etc… After praying for him, he still wouldn’t put down the phone! It was until I said I really needed to go in a firm voice did he put down the phone.

At 530, the phone rang again. I was hurriedly packing up to leave so I picked up the phone without looking at the Caller ID and when I heard the hello, my heart sank. As I got into the lift, he suddenly asked if I was speaking on a cellular line and I said “yeah…” and he immediately asked, “Then can I call you again tonight? It’s very scary to be at home.”

(I’m not too sure if this guy’s suicidal or not, rather than turning off someone that needs real help, I’m still entertaining this guy.)

My insides were screaming “NO!” but I told him very steadily that I was going to switch off my phone once I left the office. He kept on the line asking me to pray for him again and at this time, I sent a flare-prayer up to God asking for a diversion or something … then my mom called – a fantastic reason to hang up. But just before he did, he asked if he could call me the next morning. Well, if he did, I could pass him to my male colleague, no sweat, he can call if he wants to. So I said yes.

I waited yesterday for the entire day for his call to come in. Nothing at all.

This morning I woke up and saw the missed call light on my phone flashing. I had 2 missed calls ….

It was him. At 12mn.

HELPPPPPPPPPPP!!!

真爱不怕火炼

Never underestimate your mother.

My mother gave me the title for this post (it literally means: true love not scared fire burn ). We were just talking about life and I guess she opened my eyes to see some of my own blindspots.

Although we rarely talk nowadays, I’m glad she’s around so that I can still go to her for advice. After all, she’s known me for 22 years, she knows exactly what goes on inside and how I work.

And well, she is right. True love does withstand all testings by fire.

Food for thought for your day.

I wear a shirt, “I love Sydney!”

I am in awe of God’s many mercies.

Hillsong Conference
(latest thanksgiving updates)

1) Our tickets are confirmed. We check- in on June 28 for a 1230am flight and we’ll probably arrive at 950am, June 29, in Sydney. We return on July 10 at 545pm. The most amazing part of this entire deal is that we’re travelling by Singapore Airlines! At an incredible price of $784 (including taxes & visa)! Without this promotion, we could have to pay something like $1,200? That’s a huge saving of over 35% which is pretty hefty if you look at it.

2) To take part in this promotion, we had to leave earlier than intended. We now have an extra week in Australia before the conference instead of the planned week after. With that extra week, we intended to go to Melbourne but then accommodation would be a headache.

As we were discussing this issue, it occurred to Val that we could go to Sydney and stay with a couple who was in our YA earlier this year. They’ve migrated there and on hearing that we were coming to Sydney offered to open their house to us! So we’re going to give Melbourne a miss but that gives us more time to go look around Sydney and really enjoy the company of good friends and the place!

3) This happened in early April but its worth mentioning again. We’ve got the billeting option, meaning our accommodation for the entire conference (4-8 June) is settled for A$100! Plus, it’s a homestay so we get to experience life with an Australian family. The last time I went to Korea, I bunked in with a sweet Korean family and I found out so much about life there so I’m super excited to be able to do the same thing this time! Furthermore, we were afraid that we may be housed separately, so we requested to stay together and they readily agreed!

I’m so exciteedddddddddddddddddddddddd … Heee! I can’t wait to go. Australia is my most favourite foreign country in the whole world!

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Ever since deciding to set aside some bad attitudes I had at work, I’ve been able to cope with work better! Sometimes, it isn’t that the work is difficult or too much, it’s just that I’ve allowed my inadequacies to hinder me from working more effectively.

Praise God too! I’ve managed to squeezzeeeeee 6 hours of work into just the first 3 days of this week. I usually produce 6 hours a week. It is quite a heavy load, but the sense of achievement is wonderful! Aiming to finish 2 weeks worth of work every week so that I can handle the increase in workload in the middle of June all the way till I get back from Sydney.

Yippey yai yayyyy!

A great day to recharge

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Another Flickr photo op!

(Note: Do not go to my Flickr Photo Page if you do not want to see acts of violence of inexplicable comical-ity)

In a less insane picture, this is of myself with Huilin and Denise. Denise had her confirmation yesterday and it was so beautiful because she was looking forward to having her first Holy Communion in the last one year!

As she shared with me the intense impact the hymns, being confirmed and actually partaking of the communion had on her, my heart bounced about with joy for her.

Like a newborn baby, she is bubbling with joy and newness of life. Reminds me that I’ve got to get some of that joy back in my life.

I’ve allowed the negative things of the world to drown out the good things that God has given me to enjoy – friends like these, my work, food/clothing/shelter, etc … and most importantly, my eternal salvation given by God Himself.

I’ve decided to come into work each day with a different kind of attitude. I don’t want to keep thinking that I ought to be somewhere better, somewhere where I can show off whatever ounce of talent I have. I AM ALREADY HERE. Till God leads me to whereever else, I will work for His utmost glory.

It’s great to have work, to know that your dreams are being fulfilled. The job is no longer a job, its a vision in motion. Though circumstances don’t always go the way I want them to, I remember that God can still use my situation to train me into the person He wants me to be.

These 2 months are going to be pretty intensive with increased work, renovations + shifting and the highly-anticipated Hillsongs conference but thank God for good training in school! I’m looking forward to seeing how I’m going to be tested and challenged.

My goal is to train myself to work under pressure, stay and deal with conflicts and also remember what’s most important in life – God.

Thank you Denise for showing me what’s most important. May your glowing coal burst into flame and never extinguish because your fuel comes from the Light of the world. So let your light shine!

“Now if we are children, then we are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.” (Romans 8:17)