wonderment

Recently, John MacAuthur’s Grace To You ministry approached my boss to buy time to air their sermons. To me, this couldn’t come at a better time! It means that my program load is halved and that leaves me time to craft the script of my other three programs as well as more time to work on PR and other stuff.

So, on my way home yesterday, I popped the CD into my player for some good spiritual company on the 1.5 hour bus-train-bus ride back.

Guess what MacAuthur was talking about? LOVE…………..

Oddly enough, I’d been thinking about love these few days. Mostly, it was about the one thing that I honestly struggle with - my singleness.

CNY is coming right up and it’ll be that time of the year when your family gleefully leaves you to deal with the silliest questions that only you can answer. At least my sister will be!

But unlike my more passionate counterparts, I don’t do the eyeroll-smart answer thing. Each CNY is filled with renewed hope that next year I can finally bring someone with me so that I can revel in my relatives’ praise about the good choice I made in a mate.

Then another year passes, and I’m still single, still alone, and still fending off the pitiful looks of my darling aunties, uncles and cousins.

Heck, I want to be in love but if I don’t find somebody, is it my fault?

The church has pretty much swept the issue of singleness under the carpet. I’ve gotta gripe here: Why don’t we have a singles ministry in every church? Why doesn’t the pastor talk more about the potential effect that singles can have on evangelism and discipleship? Why don’t married couples “adopt” singles to better prepare them for marriage? Why doesn’t the church make a strong stand that single doesn’t mean incomplete?

We see kids, 12, 13 years old, in the church dating, and we shake our heads, but how do we tell them not to do so when the underlying mindset is “get married or look out of place”?

We’ve come a long way since the early church but it seems that when it comes to the idea of love, we’ve backtracked to primitive times. Gatherings, weddings, fellowships, Bible Studies, services, something-a-thon have all become hunting grounds - for the potential mate. I see, I like!

Everytime I get together with a bunch of my Christian girlfriends, we inevitably end up bitching about how thoroughly pathetic the dating scene is in the church and I bet the guys do this too.

I’m interested to know,

Where has the idea of genuine love hidden itself to?

Can singles serve their brothers and sisters in Christ without having a MO of turning them into spouses?

One more, a dicey one.

Can one continue loving another but not ever expecting to be loved in return? Don’t say yes yet, think, really think. Can one do that?

Bother, I’ve sidetracked.

Back to John MacAuthur, I was feeling all depressed and all wondering if there was any hope for love. Love - the greatest thing of all yet now downtrodden, misunderstood and worse, abused!

I didn’t get to finish the sermon because I met a spiritual uncle on the MRT but MacAuthur said something that got me rolling: Love ain’t about the sentimentality, it ain’t about having a common understanding with others who don’t believe in the same God, it ain’t about romance…

It’s about self sacrifice.

“No greater love has he that laid down his life for his friend …”
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son…”

“Now you can have sincere love for each other as brothers and sisters* because you were cleansed from your sins when you accepted the truth of the Good News. So see to it that you really do love each other intensely with all your hearts.”
1 Peter 1:22 (NLT)

Ahhh…there we have it. That’s the answer I’m looking for. God loved us so much so that we could love each other just as much.

To tell you the truth, its very much easier to not have the eros element in agape love. Makes things simpler.

Sure, I’m still looking out for the one I want to marry. I believe deep in my heart that God created the various facets of love to be enjoyed and in return, He gets glorified.

But meanwhile, while I’m still figuring that out, I’ll be enjoying the company of my brothers and sisters in Christ, learning to love and serve them, genuinely. Self-sacrifice, that’s what they call it.

No false thoughts, no presumptions, no rosy-coloured dreams that are built on non-biblical values.

And I hope by the time God thinks I’m ready to partner someone on his road to become more like Christ, I’ll be more familiar with the art of self-sacrifice.