wonderment

The Lord is faithful.

I’m now reading a book titled, “MOUNTAIN RAIN - a new biography of JAMES O. FRASER”. I’ve only just begun on it but already something James Fraser said has struck me.

The temptation I have often had to contend with is persistent under many forms: ‘If only I were in such and such a position’ for example, ’shouldn’t I be able to do a great work! Yes, I am only studying engineering at present, but when I am in training for missionary work things will be different and more helpful.’ Or ‘I am just in preparation at present, taking Bible courses and so on, but when I get out to China my work will begin.’ ‘Yes, I have left home now, but I am only on the voyage, you knows; when I am really in China, I shall have a splendid chance of service.’ Or, ‘Well, here in the Training Home, all my time must be given to language study - how can I do missionary work? But when I am settled down in my statiuon and able to speak freely, opportunities will be unlimited!’ etc etc

It is all IF and WHEN. I believe the devil is fond of those conjunctions … The plain truth is that the Scriptures never teach us to wait for opportunities of service, but to serve in just the things that lie next to our hands … The Lord bids us work, watch and pray; but satan suggests, wait until a good opportunity for working, watching, and praying presents itself - and needless to say, this opportunity is always in the future … Since the things that lie in our immediate path have been ordered of God, who shall say that one kind of work is more important and sacred than another?

OOk. BHAM! In my face.

Of late, I’ve been dreaming of the immense opportunities that lie Down Under when I get there to study. I’d be able to become a child again but armed with the knowledge of an adult to influence and impact the lives of people …for Christ.

Everytime I meet an obstacle at work, I’ll surf into a university website and browse through the curriculum, thinking about my friends who are already in Australia and wondering when I’d be able to leave the hustle and bustle of Singapore behind for a quieter life in the Great Outdoors.

It’s come to a point that I’ve got an imaginary date of departure in my head - December 2005. One part of me wants to just experience a different kind of life before I get too old, another part of me still isn’t sure that I’d find the satisfaction I’d get even if I do leave.

James Fraser echoed out the words that swim in my head with amazing accuracy. ‘If I could just experience life in a foreign country alone, I’ll be able to be a student again yet serve and learn missionary living at the same time!’

Sometimes I don’t know if having an awful memory is good or bad. The good thing is that the memories of bad things that happen usually fade with time. The bad thing? The memories of the good fade as well. When evil starts making its rounds again, I’m easily weakened. When I finally come to the realisation that I’ve made wrong choices, I bang my head against the wall, wondering where did my faith go?

Anyway, perhaps I’ll actually get to leave in 2005, who knows? But what I do know now is that God is unerringly faithful and no matter what my circumstances are at any point in my life (whether I do go study overseas or not) I will also learn to be unerringly faithful to Christ my Lord.