wonderment

I was very amazed at God’s work last night.

My body was definitely out of whack yesterday. I was feeling as if a flu was coming on, weak-kneed, very slightly giddy…PMS (nasty stuff, that is). It was exacerbated when Nic and I ran through City Link to get her shoes. The shop was way too crowded and I hung around for too long. By 640, I was racing back to get dinner before zooming off to church.

By the time I actually got to the room, my heart was palpitating. At that moment, I wasn’t even thinking of my group, I was just praying that I would survive the evening!

I sat very quietly during the video, hoping that my heart would stop beating so fast. My Subway sandwich went uneaten even though I was ravenous. The video was skipping worse than usual and that was giving me a royal headache.

However, my rather down evening took a turn for the better when I began to realise that the people who were streaming in during the video were all my group members. I did a headcount and I realised that yesterday’s turnout was the largest and most complete since the beginning of Alpha. Even Samuel came!

I silently thanked God for His goodness but the usual jitters that went undiscovered in the busyness of the day began to resurface. What was there to say? How would I lead such an eclectic group of Christians? Suddenly, a vision came and I saw myself curled up in a fetal position in the arms of a man. I could only see the arms and not the face but I instinctively knew that those were the arms of God. My jitteriness went away and I trusted God that no matter how hard the VCD skipped, He would say what He wanted to say to the people present.

We stopped the VCD 10 minutes before it finished and launched into the discussion. Supernaturally, my heart had returned to normal, I was breathing properly and the sickness I was feeling went away. The best part? I forgot to be nervous during the discussion. Praise, praise God.

The fun part of the night was when we went over to the Padang to have fellowship over sparklers, lanterns and mooncake. Wonderful, wonderful, sweet fellowship. Now I know why fellowship is so important. It just makes you experience the goodness of God so much better.

Today, I received the gift of tongues.

Praise the Lord O my soul
And all that is within me bless His Holy Name

“When God gives a new vision He often allows it to die and then, after a while, resurrects it. This was the experience of Joseph and King David, among others. Why should this be? Because the excitement of a new vision draws out our natural enthusiasm, but enthusiasm is not enough. God causes the vision to die in order to show us that, it is not by might, nor by power, but by God’s Spirit that His purposes are accomplished. When we learn that lesson then the vision comes alive again - this time energised not by our human enthusiasm but by the Spirit…”
~ Selwyn Hughes, The Divine Alluring (devo)I relinquished all rights to that dream that I have of turning Voice of Grace into the No. 1 Christian radio station in the region. God knows, my desire for this goal is not at all pure. Rather self-centred really. I saw a vision of myself becoming a famous radio “resucitator” - dying radio stations would get me in to turn their flagging stations around. I would stay around, do some major reshuffle, training, etc, and then ratings would pick up. My time would be up, and off I go to save yet another suffering ministry. As of now, this vision is still in its fledgling stages. Ping is arranging some new things next year that would give this dream a kickstart.

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“The Terminal” starring Tom Hanks and Catherine Zeta Jones is one movie I would never ever regret paying $8.50 to watch and I’m thinking of going to watch it again soon. I would have spent the entire time scribbling down thoughts and golden sentences in my PDA (if I had brought it out). The main theme was about, waiting. I won’t dwell on the story too much, if I ever need to remind myself what the story’s about, it’s found here.

In the story,
Viktor was waiting to collect a final signature from Benny Golson (legendary saxaphonist) for his dead father as a promise. [At this point, I must rave about the premise of this movie. It was so simple! As the movie unfolds, our curiousity is so piqued about Viktor’s can of Planter’s peanuts because he never opens it. It’s only in one scene that he tells Gupta and gang that the can contains “a promise”. Doesn’t say much and nearly kills you with mystery because how much promise can a can of peanuts hold? We finally find out what’s with the can in the climatic scene with Amelia where he unveils a present he wants to give to her - “Do you know what Napolean gave to his wife Josephine for her wedding present?”.

By this time, she’s found out that he isn’t a jet-setting contractor but somebody very dubious. She recoils as he advances, but he is able to show her the beautiful mosaic fountain as well as very matter of factly tell her (and the audience) why he’s in New York and what’s in that Planter’s can. It was over in 5 minutes. Viktor waits 9 months, stuck in the JFK airport transit lounge - just to get a signature from a famous saxaphonist. The final scene is anticlimatic when he finally meets Benny Golson, because instead of being warmly applauded by Golson for going through so much just to get his signature, Viktor is politely ushered to a table to wait out a gig. The scene cuts to Viktor leaving the Ramada hotel with Golson’s signature scrawl on a tab. He’s in total awe. He hails a cab and does not say anything for several seconds until the cabdriver asks him where he wants to go. He looks up, teary-eyed and says, “I’m going home.”

Amelia Warren is waiting for true love. On sentence she says hit my heart straight away - “I don’t have the ability to be alone for 5 seconds.”One beautiful thing about this movie is its unidealism. It would have been totally predictable if Amelia fell in love with Viktor and lived with him happily ever after, but we all know deep inside, that wouldn’t have been possible in real life. The movie portrays them having good feelings about each other, Viktor even takes up a job as a construction worker within the airport to buy her C-pasta (i don’t know what the word is) . He later buys himself a Hugo Boss suit to impress her. At the end, we see her running up to him with a emergency day visa, all excited. He asks her to go with him and her face falls. Viktor knows exactly what had happened. She went back to her married lover and got him to get the emergency day visa for her. She was waiting for true love all her life, but she would sacrifice her freedom for Viktor. The scene is poignant as she leaves the pub where Viktor is celebrating the recovery of his country and runs straight into the arms of her married lover, with a dejected Viktor looking on as they travel down the escalator - the place where he met her for the first time.

Dixon, the airport boss is waiting for Viktor to leave the airport so that he will have a good airport in running order when the inspectors come. He tries all sorts of ways and means to get Viktor out of the airport but Viktor will not leave until he is legally allowed to do so. Finally, even his security guards go against him because they too want to help Viktor taste freedom.

I guess I could go on forever about the movie. There’s also Gupta, the crotchety paranoid Indian cleaner who is waiting to go home. He is positive that Viktor is a spy. It’s only when the security guard who’s escorting Viktor to the plane home tells Gupta why Viktor is going home without even stepping on American soil. Dixon threatened to ruin the lives of Gupta, Eric and Co if Viktor did not get onto the next plane home. So Gupta pulls a daring feat on the runway, using his mop as his only weapon to stop the plane from arriving at the gate. It’s comical to see dozens of SWAT teams arrive on the scene with their guns trained on the old guy. He triumphantly proclaims, “I’m giving myself up! I’m going home!”

This is one delightful movie. No sex and violence, but true raw humanity. Even Hank’s haltingly accented English is believeable. Amelia’s confidence doesn’t fully cover up the frailness and insecurity, as such a woman would behave. Eric’s love for his Officer Torres transcends a yellow line and even Officer Thurman is humane when he gives his police snow cloak to Viktor.

We all wait to go home. Wait for love. Wait to fulfil a promise. I guess the reason why I loved this movie so much is because I can identify with it totally. I live life in a “waiting lounge”, meeting new people, fostering new relationships, helping strangers who turn out to help me in turn. I live in limbo, neither belonging nor not belonging. Outside those swinging doors is freedom and all that I’ve ever wanted to do. I could take the shortcut and step out but that would not have been as fully satisfying as being legally able to do so. I will bear the troubles, the inconveniences, the sorrows because I am firmly aware of where I belong. I have a promise to fulfil and once I’m done, I will return home….

“I’m going home!”

l’d like to be a child again. Perhaps one day I’d find myself tumbling into Narnia, talking funny and to the animals!