wonderment

Psalm 131
A song of ascents. Of David.

“My heart is not proud, O LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.

But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, put your hope in the LORD
both now and forevermore.”

Happiness is like a spectacular fireworks display that lights up the velvety sky.
True joy is a tiny bubbling brook that waters the earth above.
In an instant, the lights dim, people go home.
In a century, the fertile land of home feeds generations.

I got bored and started reading old archives from last year.

Guess what I found.

“Lord, finally for Joyce and me. Lord, that’s a situation that I’ve ceased to care about. Lord, it’s impossible for me to ever take it up again. I cannot and I will not subject myself to allowing her to manipulate my emotions and making me feel guilty again. Dear Lord, thank you for putting her into my life but dear Lord, I’m sorry I am not able to show her love as a friend. If Lord, you want her back in my life again, Lord, teach me to love!!” (written 13 July 2003)

I called Joyce up in mid-June. That was just after the IBLP conference and they asked us to find somebody we were harbouring some grudge against and go ask for forgiveness. The first name that immediately popped into my head was hers - Joyce Teo.

We talked for nearly an hour - The length of time it took for me to travel from Bedok to Clementi.

And we’ve been talking ever since. About all sorts of things. Like normal friends again. Pris is quite shocked at our reconciliation.

You ask me if I’d ever dream such a thing would ever happen, and I would say no. Not in a million years if I’d operated on my own feelings and strength.

Yes in a flash if God was pushing all the right buttons.

A prayer I prayed once and forgot.

Answered one year later.

You know, God speaks through the unlikeliest of people at the unlikeliest of times.

I know He’s been trying to say this for a while and I’ve been trying to convince myself to believe it but to hear someone actually rebuke me for it was something new.

It was as if God had taken her voice to tell me,
“Ruth Song, you wake up! I’ve chosen to put you here for no other purpose but Mine. Quit saying that you’re young and inadequate or that you need theological training. I’m God, don’t you say you trust me? Where’s that trust? Where’s the obedience you profess? Don’t excuse yourself because I’ve got a message and you’ve got to tell it!”

I was thoroughly shocked because that’s exactly what I’ve been trying to convince myself to believe for the past year. How sad it is that I cannot believe what the Word says and someone has to tell me what God is saying!

All this going on about studying and all is a means of running away. I know how much easier I’ll have it if I don’t carry on in this ministry.

Lord, I pray that I’ll keep my eyes focussed on the race I have ahead. It is an important place and since you have so divinely put me in such a place, You’ve prepared me for more than enough. I know this is such a fertile learning ground. I’ve even admitted that my 3 years in poly didn’t equip me adequately enough to meet the demands of this job technically. Yet I’ve soared through the last year by nothing except Your strength and loving mercy.

May I never forget that!

Do not let anyone (especially myself) look down on [me] because [I] am young. But set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you. Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers. (1 Tim 4:12-16)

Hello! Was this written for me or something???

“…Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son..” (Gen 22:12)

“…’I swear by myself, declares the Lord, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring, all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me.’” (Gen 22:16-1

Now, isn’t that amazing? The Lord promises that if we obey Him, He’ll bless our descendants because of us. As Uncle Stephen was sharing with us this passage, he had tears in his eyes because he just couldn’t imagine God telling him “Now, I know that you fear God…” It’ll be the greatest honour on earth.

I know I want to be like that but just what am I hanging onto that I cannot let go to God?

The promise of someone who will love me?
The promise of one day being independent?

Actually, the real test doesn’t come with a big bang! The real test comes with living everyday for the promise of better days to come.

I can’t believe how much emotional baggage you can collect a day. The crucial thing is to be able to let go of it daily. That’s what God asks us to do. To cast our worries and burdens upon Him for He cares for us!

Lord, yesterday I really contemplated just having a companion to stick around, not needing to get married. I actually felt that having a child would be unfair to him because I wouldn’t be a good enough example for him to follow.

However I know that You can transform and break curses. You bind the broken hearted and set the captives free. You make the lame to walk again and cause the blind to see. I renounce those thoughts and call upon Jesus to purify my mind from the world’s brand of thinking.

Lord, you promised to bless those who will give up their precious for You. Lord, I surrender my strongwill, my desires, my plans, my body, my mind, my soul, my spirit, my possessions into your hands. Help me see that every single decision I make, I make it for the kingdom. Teach me how to sow the seeds of eternity in my heart and in the hearts of those around me.

Lord, please, I pray, give me the gift of commitment and faithfulness even when the going gets tough. Lord, above all, give me the gift of LOVE.

 Agape Love.

Yeay! You can hear me online on KEI 102.3FM

I’m hosting Breakfast with God every Monday to Saturday from 0830-0900, 1730-1800 (Singapore time).

This is going to be such a great help to our listeners who can’t listen in because of a bad connection. Praise the Lord!!!

I’ve been wracking my brains on how to introduce the gospel to some of my friends without coming across too cliched or too insensitive to their situation. After a while, I gave up because I just don’t know how to encapsulate God in a nice, witty sentence that’ll get them thinking about Him. I thought about hanging out with those who’ve managed to convert a few people and see how they say it, or even get them to teach me exactly what to say. I’m tired so I’ll make this short.

I don’t have the dry wit, nor the glib tongue to convince people that Christ is the only Way the only Truth and only Life. What I do have is acceptance. People need to be accepted and through that I hope they know Christ.